Cicadas: Uncensored

Quit leaving your exoskeletons on my garlic.

Thanks to my wonderful job (that's not sarcasm, I promise), I'm now an expert in all things cicada-y.  Seriously, ask me anything – I torture my cubicle-mate spouting from the vast amount of cicada fun facts that I hope will help me win Jeopardy one day. I know the difference between tenerals and tymbals (the former are freshly molted nymphs; the latter refers to the muscles the males use to make the buzzing noise to attract a mate). I know what trees they like. I know which animals like to prey on them. I know the difference between broods. I know that they're not locusts. And unfortunately, I know how to cook them, though I wasn't the lucky party who had to participate in the cooking or eating of cicadas:



I know all of this because of my work on Cicada Central, which one blogger raves as being "whimsical to dead-earnest" – I'll take it, even if he was probably referring to my link curation skills. I actually did end up enjoying this project much more than anticipated. (Though expectations on an insect-centric microsite don't start off that high.) As hilarious as the above video is, the most fun aspect of this was my interview with one of the many cicadas on Twitter, who I happen to know (well, enough, to be Facebook friends with and to run in to on occasion in Nashville and, much more randomly, in Atlanta).

Now, if you know nothing about cicadas, know this: Brood XIX comes out every 13 years to sing, mate and die, as some so eloquently put it. That means many of the cicada tweets are basically akin to TFLN. So as funny as Jem's cicada responses were, I did have to censor it a bit. Below are the questions/responses that I had to cut – check out the Interview With a Cicada for the rest.

Why do you only emerge every 13 years?
A: We’d like to say it’s due to years of scientific adaptation but we’re going to be honest- we were waiting for Osama Bin Laden to die.

What are your thoughts on this video?
A: Oh, I don’t know- how would you feel if I showed you a video of Hannibal Lecter cooking up some human for dinner?

Have you ever been to Abbottabad?
A: No, but my 86th cousin twice removed has. He said it was pretty low-key except for this giant compound in the middle of a residential neighborhood that no one was allowed to talk about. Apparently it’s a great spot for those who just want to hide away for an extended period of time.

This is Music City – what's your favorite song?
A: There’s been quite a bit of speculation on this subject. We actually have two favorite songs, the first being Ginuwine’s “My Pony.” This song really gets the lady cicadas in the mood to find the males in the swarms, and it’s a classic. It’s been around since our last foray above-ground and we’re pretty sure it’s still on the Billboard Top 20 list, or featured every day on TRL, right? Our other favorite is “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett. It really encompasses our overall attitude of disregard once we come out in droves.

Singing, mating and dying all over my poor little tree.